Understanding the role of the man in family planning

Dr. Evode NIBIZI; AFRIYAN Country Director, said that "everyone's role is necessary, not only for women or girls but also for boys and men. Everyone should learn about it, so they can help each other because often a decision should be discussed and everyone supports his/her partner, especially because there are obstacles or abuse because people don't have the same understandings or don't have the right information."

Dr. Mathilde UWIMBABAZI; the head of family planning services at MUHIMA Hospital, said that the role of the man is very important in the use of the family planning method.

She added that apart from condom use and Vasectomy, natural birth control methods are more effective when men are involved.

“Even the cycle beads concern both of them because if the days of self-restraint are 12, the man should know that it concerns him. Reminding the woman... he must participate because he has to learn the use of cycle beads when the woman forgets to move the ring of birth control because it goes with the calendar [calendar], knowing that for 12 days I don't have the right or use a condom. Here we will take it, here we will do what we want."

"If the man doesn't participate, the woman can get pregnant  or the woman will push it too hard and find that there is tension in the house because the man said: 'I don't use a condom and I need you and the woman is in her fertile days where pregnant is possible!' Therefore, the cycle beads require that the husband and wife come to an agreement, and everyone knows that this time this is allowed, this is not allowed," she added.

She noticed that the role of the man should also have happened when the woman has taken a method of family planning that affects her health, including bleeding, pain, Headache, etc., and the man feels her pain, and supporter her by using another family methods which is appropriate to him or both of them.

However, Dr. UWIMBABAZI also said through the number of women who give birth at Muhima Hospital, some women said that the men decided on family planning.

“When a woman gives birth, often when we have a conversation about the methods they can use,  the men do not belong there. However, the is one man for every hundred women! however, when we are lucky enough to find that man, they feel it too! He said otherwise why didn't she decide earlier? " Dr. Uwimbabazi said.

 "There is a woman who tells you that I am waiting for my husband to allow me, then you said 'No problem, when your husband comes, we will talk.' She [the woman] comes because the man sent her a message to take care of family planning. They say it in a sense of compulsion and it's something they should talk about."

He emphasizes that usually a woman and a man should decide to build a family after they have agreed on the method of family planning they will use. She said, "I tell husbands to accompany their wives who are going to have pregnancy tests and get enough information. And then even before getting married, consider our services because it is our responsibility to give you information before your marriage. In fact, among many men, there is one who can say that my wife did not use family planning, these things would kill her, there is news...but it is rumors."

" he said that it will kill my wife, the breadfeeding will be perish, because there is no news. But most of us, when we are lucky enough to see and teach them well, they say ahh! You know it is! Instead, look at him. They [men] are not opting for pills and injections but for more years. He said, "I don't want to come back here very soon," she discovered.

“The men we've seen don't want to have children too soon, even delivering fewer children. So some want a 10-year pill (...) But we teach them because the instructions said that the woman is the one who has to choose the method of family planning, and then she discusses it with her husband," Dr. Uwimbabazi mentioned.

Dr. Evode NIBIZI said that the discussion about family planning strengthens the program of equality and harmony in the family. If it doesn't happen, the consequences of giving birth to an unwanted child will not only be on one of them.

“It's for everyone! Guys, today if you have sex with a girl you love or don't love and you end up delivering a child, in any case, there is a responsibility you have for the child you derive from. If you deliver unexpectedly it will be a problem for you. So that should be enough to make you take the initiative to get involved in it," he said.

On the men's side, one told INGERI that "most of the time, many men do not pay attention to the birth control program, but they give it back which is not good. Those who are like that should be changed, change their attitude, support their wives, and have a happy family."

IBYOBIBWIRA Eric said, “All tasks and responsibilities in the family are decided by both of the household, the wife and the husband. When there is a monopoly it is due to tyranny or neglect of responsibility.”

While Emmy ITANGISHAKA added that, “using Family planning is done with the consent of a man and a woman, and they decide who can do it. This is where everyone is concerned, this is where true equality happens."

One woman also said: 'Well, men don't understand it, but they keep it to women.'

Only Dr. NIBIZI said that when there is a disagreement between spouses, a woman has rights to her body.

Ati: “Urujijo nashakaga ngo dukureho, itegeko rijyanye no kuboneza urubyaro mu Rwanda rivuga ko umugore yemerewe no gufata icyemezo cyo kuboneza urubyaro akoresheje uburyo runaka wenyine kuko ari umubiri we. Nubwo wenda yaba yabiganiriyeho n’umugabo, akumva ntabwo ari kubizamo cyangwa nta n’umuhati wo gushaka kumufasha, kumutera ingabo mu bitugu…icyo gihe umugore yemerewe gufata umwanzuro wo kuboneza urubyaro.”

 “The confusion I wanted to remove is about the law related to family planning in Rwanda states that a woman is allowed to decide on family planning using a certain method on her own because it is her body. Even if she has discussed it with the man and he feels that it is not worth it or does not even have the effort to try to help her, to lay on his shoulders...then the woman is allowed to decide to use family planning," he sad.

On the other side, Dr. UWIMBABAZI said that there are women who did not use control birth to avoid conflict in the family. But before doing so, they are first consulted by doctors and they try to talk to the man. But when all the methods that would make the man participate are rejected, the woman is allowed to decide on family planning, personally.

On the other hand, Dr. UWIMBABAZI said that there are women who avoid using their rights given by law because they don't want it to destroy their family relation, especially because many of them live with their husbands illegally, even if they have the will and the choice of the way of marriage. the offspring they use.

in conclusion, men have the responsibility the Reproductive Health Expert says that when a woman takes a certain method of family planning and it fails, even if there isn't another method she can use, the man must take that responsibility by using methods related to man. This can make a peaceful and safe family, conflicts, and other problems that threaten the youth and the Rwandan society in general.