Sobanukirwa n’uruhare rw’umugabo/umusore mu kuboneza urubyaro

Dr. Evode NIYIBIZI; umuyobozi w’umuryango w’urubyiruko wita ku buzima bw’imyororokere n’uburenganzira, Afriyan, avuga ko “uruhare rwa buri wese rurakenewe, ntabwo bireba gusa umugore cyangwa umukobwa gusa, n’abasore cyangwa abagabo birabareba. Buri wese agomba kubigiraho amakuru, bityo bagafashanya kuko akenshi usanga icyemezo cyakagombye kuganirwaho ndetse buri wese agatera undi ingabo mu bitugu, cyane ko usanga hari imbogamizi zizamo cyangwa  ihohotera rikazamo kubera ko abantu batahuje ibiganiro cyangwa badafite amakuru ahuye.”

Dr. Mathilde UWIMBABAZI; ukuriye serivise zo kuboneza urubyaro mu bitaro bya Muhima, avuga ko uruhare rw’umugabo ari ngombwa cyane ko bafite n’uburyo bwo kuboneza urubyaro bakoresha.

Yongeraho ko uretse uburyo bwo gukoresha agakingirizo no gufunga burundu buzwi nka Vasectomie, n’uburyo bwo kuboneza urubyaro bwa kamere butanga umusaruro cyane iyo babugizemo uruhare.

Ati: “n’uburyo bw’urunigi burabareba bombi, kuko niba iminsi yo kwifata ku runigi ari 12 n’umugabo agomba kumenya ko bimureba. Akibutsa n’umugore…agomba kubigiramo uruhare kuko agomba kwiga urwo runigi, umugore yakwibagirwa kwimura impeta [y’urunigi rwo kuboneza urubyaro] kuko biba bigendana n’ikirangaminsi [calendar], akamenya ngo ya minsi 12 nta burenganzira mfite cyangwa tugakoresha agakingirizo. Aha tuzifata, aha tuzakora icyo dushaka.”

“Iyo umugabo atabigizemo uruhare, n’urunigi umugore ashobora kurusamiraho, cyangwa se umugore yabikomeza cyane ugasanga mu rugo haje impagarara, kuko umugabo avuga ati ‘ njyewe sinkoresha agakingirizo kandi ndagukeneye kandi umugore ari mu minsi ye y’uburumbuke! Rero urunigi rusaba ko umugabo n’umugore babyumvikanaho, buri wese akamenya ngo iki gihe ibi biremewe, ibi ntabwo byemewe.”

Yongeraho ko uruhare rw’umugabo rugomba no kugaragara igihe umugore yafashe uburyo bwo kuboneza urubyaro bukamugiraho ingaruka runaka zirimo kuva cyane, kugira uburibwe n’ibindi, akamwihanganira.

Icyakora Dr. UWIMBABAZI anavuga ko agendeye ku babyeyi babyarira mu bitaro bya Muhima, hari abahariye abagabo babo gufata umwanzuro wo kuboneza urubyaro.

Ati: “iyo umugore amaze kubyara, akenshi iyo dutanga ibiganiro, abagabo ntibaba bahari. Haba hari nk’umugabo umwe ku bagore ijana! Ariko iyo tugize amahirwe yo kubona uwo mugabo, nabo barabyumva! Ati ubundi kuki atafashe icyemezo hakiri kare. Hari umugore ukubwira ngo njyewe ntegereje ko umugabo anyemerera, noneho ukamubwira uti ‘nta kibazo, umugabo naza turaganira.’ Umugabo yahagera akavuga ngo ‘kuki atafashe icyemezo siwe uruha?’ Noneho hakaba n’umugabo utuma ku mugore we ngo witonde utagera mu rugo utaboneje. We [umugore] akaza kubera ko umugabo yamutumyeho ngo nugera aha utaboneje urubyaro umenye ko urasubirayo! Babivuga muri sens y’agahato kandi ari ibintu bagakwiye kuganiraho.”

Ashimangira ko ubusanzwe umugore n’umugabo bakwiye gufata umwanzuro ko kubaka urugo baramaze kumvikana ku buryo bwo kuboneza urubyaro bazakoresha.

Ati: “ndabwira abagabo ngo bajye baherekeza abagore babo bagiye kwipimisha inda babone amakuru ahagije. Kandi noneho na mbere yo gushaka bagane serivise zacu kuko kuganira mbere yo gushaka, ayo makuru kuyatanga biri mu nshingano zacu. Mu by’ukuri, usanga mu bagabo benshi, umwe niwe ushobora kuvuga ngo umugore wanjye ntaboneze urubyaro, ibyo bintu byamwica, hari amakuru…ariko ugasanga ni ibihuha afite.”

“ati bitazanyicira umugore, amashereka y’umwana atazangirika, kubera ko nta makuru. Ariko abenshi iyo tugize amahirwe tukababona, ukamwigisha neza aravuga ati ahh! Uziko aribyo! Ahubwo muhite mumubonereza. Bo [abagabo] ntabwo bahitamo ibinini n’inshinge, ahubwo bahitamo uburyo burambye. Ati muramumpera agapira k’imyaka itatu cyangwa k’imyaka itanu, ntabwo nshaka kugaruka aha vuba.”

“abagabo twabonye ntabwo baba bifuza kubyara vuba, ndetse no kubyara abana bake. Rero hari n’ababa bashaka agapira k’imyaka 10(…) Ariko turabigisha kuko amabwiriza avuga ko umugore ariwe ugomba kwihitiramo uburyo bwo kuboneza urubyaro, yaganiriye n’umugabo we.”

Dr. Evode NIBIZI avuga ko uku kuganira ku buryo bwo kuboneza urubyaro bishimangira gahunda y’uburinganire n’ubwuzuzanye mu muryango. Iyo bitakozwe gutyo, avuga ko ingaruka ziva ku kubyara umwana utifuzwaga zitaba kuri umwe muribo.

Ati: “zireba buri wese! N’umusore, uyu munsi nukora imibonano mpuzabitsina n’umukobwa mukundana cyangwa se mudakundana bikarangira mubyaye, uko biri kose hari responsabilite uba ugomba kugira ku mwana wabyaye. Iyo wamubyaye utamuteganyije biba ari ikibazo kuri wowe. Ibyo rero byakagombye kukwereka ko ari ingirakamaro ituma ufata iya mbere mu kubigiramo uruhare.”

Ku ruhande rw’abagabo, umwe yabwiye INGERI ko “akenshi muri iyo gahunda yo kuboneza urubyaro, usanga abagabo benshi bigira ntibindeba, ariko ntibikwiye. Abameze batyo bisubireho, bahindure imyumvire, bafatanye n’abagore babo nuko bagire urugo rwiza.”

IBYOBIBWIRA Eric yunze murye, ati: “imirimo n’inshingano zose bibera mu rugo bifatwaho umwanzuro n’abagize urugo bombi, umugore n’umugabo. Iyo habayeho kubiharira umwe biterwa n’igitugu cyangwa kwirengagiza inshingano.”

Naho Emmy ITANGISHAKA, ati: “kuboneza urubyaro bikorwa ku bwumvikane by’umugabo n’umugore, bagahitamo ubikorerwa. Aha buri wese biramureba, aha niho hakabaye uburinganire bwa nyabwo.”

Umugore umwe nawe yagize ati: ‘erega ni uko abagabo batabyumva, ahubwo bakabiharira abagore.”

Umugore afite uburenganzira bwo gufata umwanzuro

Gusa Dr. NIBIZI avuga ko mugihe habayeho kutabyumvikanaho kw’abashakanye, umugore afite uburenganzira ku mubiri we.

Ati: “Urujijo nashakaga ngo dukureho, itegeko rijyanye no kuboneza urubyaro mu Rwanda rivuga ko umugore yemerewe no gufata icyemezo cyo kuboneza urubyaro akoresheje uburyo runaka wenyine kuko ari umubiri we. Nubwo wenda yaba yabiganiriyeho n’umugabo, akumva ntabwo ari kubizamo cyangwa nta n’umuhati wo gushaka kumufasha, kumutera ingabo mu bitugu…icyo gihe umugore yemerewe gufata umwanzuro wo kuboneza urubyaro.”

Gusa yemeza ko iyo impande zombi zitabyumvikanyeho nabyo bishobora gukurura amakimbirane mu muryango. Ariko kuba mbere yo kubikora “babanza kuganirizwa n’abaganga ndetse nabo bakagerageza kuvugisha umugabo. Ariko mugihe uburyo bwose bwatuma umugabo abigiramo uruhare byanze, umugore yemerewe gufata icyemezo cyo kuboneza urubyaro, we ku giti cye.”

Ku rundi ruhande, Dr. UWIMBABAZI avuga ko hari abagore birinda gukoresha uburenganzira bahabwa n’itegeko kubera kwanga ko byavamo kubasenyera, cyane ko benshi usanga babana n’abagabo babo mu buryo butemewe n’amategeko, kabone n’ubwo baba bafite ubushake ndetse n’amahitamo y’uburyo bwo kuboneza urubyaro bakoresha.

Gusa mu gushimangira urugare rw’umugabo, Impuguke mu bijyanye n’ubuzima bw’imyororokere zinavuga ko mugihe umugore afashe uburyo runaka bwo kuboneza urubyaro bukamugwa nabi, ndetse akabura ubundi bujyanye n’umubiri we, ahasigaye hakwiye kuba ah’umugabo mu rwego rwo kurengera inyungu z’umuryango utuje kandi utekanye, uzira amakimbirane n’ibindi bibazo byugarije urubyiruko n’umuryango nyarwanda muri rusange.